Candles over Castro
The Gay Elder celebrates his 23rd birthday in the Castro Boys Republic
Hi all, it’s me the Gay Elder.
Can you believe it? After two jabs and the booster, and masking up for two years, I caught COVID-19. .I caught it on my 71st birthday on Jan. 12, 2022. I let my guard down for one day and kabluey.
All my friends had a birthday party for me in the back garden. Great food, drinks, great bonfire. A week later I was so sick. One of the guests had the virus and didn’t even know it. That is how easy it is to catch COVID. I was so sick for the first four days. Thought that I might kick the bucket. Lost all sense of smell and taste at the same time. Three weeks later, I have basically recovered. Smell and taste have returned. Feeling pretty frisky! So I am back to my sassy self.
So let’s get in the time machine and travel back to Jan. 12, 1974. Tom turns 23 years old.
48 years have now come and gone.
The day basically started out like any other day. I woke up at the crack of noon. Got out of bed. Dragged a comb across my head. Had a smoke. You know the drill.
Friends started to stop by to wish me a happy birthday. We were serving cocktails. Brandy Screwdrivers. A really nice afternoon buzz was had for all. And some naughty birthday hijinks.
Remember Aunt Einez? Well he had plans to cook a Norwegian birthday dinner for me. Einez actually made a very hearty breakfast for all of our guests. Well Steve and myself too.
Bacon, Eggs, Sourdough toast and Mimosas. Just for a laugh, Steve and I snuck into the kitchen. Hey Auntie, what’s that over there? Einez fell for it. Steve and I grabbed some bacon and then headed for the hills. Laughing all the time. Well if it worked once, might work again. Nope, Auntie was wise to our hijinks. A 6-and-a-half foot Norwegian with a giant wooden spoon. Just daring us to raid the kitchen again. He would have given us all a real good paddling. So Einez served breakfast for twenty people. It was just wonderful.
6:30 was approaching. The gang was ready to go out on the Castro Bar Crawl. And we did. Our Mob moved down Castro and crossed the mess on Market Street. Back on Castro Street we made it as far as Toad Hall. Over the sound system it was announced that The Midnight Sun Mob was here to celebrate Tom’s birthday. Sure, use me as an excuse to get hammered will ya!
I played pool and then went to the front of the bar. That’s where we would hang out. My favorite Toad Hall bartender, Frank, was on duty. The birthday drinks came fast and furious. Just piling up in front of me on the bar. Wait, what? I mean really. I only weigh about 138 pounds. I’m already feeling no pain. And there is no way I could consume all that ETOH. So I just shared it with the Sun gang. Bless Frank’s evil little heart. He shared a little pick me up with all of us. It was just what the doctor ordered.
Someone reminded me that it was 8:30 and time to go back to 7 States Street for dinner. Oh fuck, Aunt Einez will just kill us. We are all just a bit lit up. And a tad bit late for dinner. I still had visions of that huge wooden spoon waiting for us!
Yup, we crawled up Castro, and over Market Street. Then the herculean climb up Castro to States Street. It’s a real hike up Castro Street. Huff and puff all the way. How to stay in shape! Right, let’s hope there are no heart attacks on the horizon. So we made it home. The entire mob. You know for prudence’s sake. We had left Einez chained to the stove with a large bottle of Aquavit. That’s Scandinavian vodka that tastes like rye and black licorice. Yum? It takes a little getting used to. Actually it is just god awful. One shot and you go cross eyed.
Into the house we come. Thinking Aunt Einez is just going to crucify us. Surprise, there Auntie stands at the kitchen door, waving the biggest lobsters that I had ever seen. Einez says, make yourselves comfortable. Dinner is on the way. So we cracked open the white wine. And the ice cold Aquavit. Einez puts out a huge platter of Gravelocs, that would be smoked salmon sliced very thin. It will melt in your mouth. Cucumbers in a cream and dill sauce. Rye bread and mustard. Welcome to Oslo. It was fantastic. Next comes the lobster tails and melted butter to dip the meat in. Sauteed Brussels sprouts. With some creamed spinach. The dinner was just fabulous.
Next was a bunch of gay gag gifts. Almost died laughing. What a wonderful time we all had. We wrapped things up. The gang was now primed to go out to The Midnight Sun. Like I said earlier, it was pretty cold and rainy out. Time to wear a warm jacket outside. Our little parade down Castro Street was pretty fun. We bypassed Toad Hall and marched on to the Sun.
Yes here we were at home base. I found my favorite bar stool. It was back at the end of the bar. Very close to the pinball machines. So I settled in, made myself comfortable. Charlie was our bartender that night. He was such a sweetheart From the hills of Kentucky and sounded like it. He could charm your socks off. And he finally did; we would eventually fall madly in love.
Not sure how the word got out, but little by little the Castro street bartenders started to filter in and buy me birthday drinks. My Imperial guard, Steve, Einar, John and Tony were sharing all the cocktails that were being set up in front of me. The last thing I remember was falling off the bar stool. I guess I had just a bit too much to drink that day.
I woke up in the vault having been deposited on top of all the jackets. Had slept like a baby. It was closing time and my Imperial guard was a bit hammered too. I guess that they carried me up Castro, over Market and up to 7 States Street. Put me in my bed. Just love those guys! That’s all she wrote. The next day, with a huge hangover, I had to hear about all the antics from the night before. For about a week, I couldn’t walk on Castro Street without hearing about it. Hey, Tom! Did you have fun on your birthday? I think so. And not the first or last person to fall off a bar stool on their birthday.
Well life goes on!
Till the next time, happy memories all! The Gay Elder, older and hopefully wiser?
Barnard Street Tattler 