Horoscopes for the week of 13 Jan
Marilyn Minter communes with the planets
Aries You know what? You’re right: your talents aren’t being recognized. The planets say it’s time for an adventure and new surroundings. It might be risky and you might have to overcome some confidence issues, but you’ll have the opportunity soon to showcase what you do best. Darling, don’t let any of those people steal your shine.
Taurus A new person is coming into your life, and they might be bringing in some big opinions. But beware of rebuffing something just because you don’t want to hear it. Amid all the brashness, this new person is seeing some truth in the situation that you’ve been missing.
Gemini Someone will be vying for your affection this month, darling, and based on the sexy position of your planets, they’ll talk a good game. Smooth, juicy, sweet nothings. But trust me, darling, they are nothings. Have some fun conversation, but don’t get them an inch. They’ll take a mile.
Cancer If anyone in your life has been telling you to slow down and not take on so much, they might have a point. You’ve been living a little fast lately, whirring between people, locations and interests without truly buying in. Take a few days to relax. Wear sweatpants and watch a comforting TV show or two. Decide your priorities, and pick something to stick to.
Leo Your planets’ alignment indicates you’ll have an opportunity soon to truly, royally fuck someone over. You’ll be particularly charming and persuasive, and the winds of fate will be blowing in your direction, darling. A word of warning, however – be careful in weidling this power, because the wrongs you do will not go unanswered in the long arc of the universe.
Virgo Oh darling, your planets are rapturous! You’re tuned into your sense of fun, and will be the life of the party at any events you go to. It’s a time to host, a time to visit, a time for impromptu rendezvouses. Be a little bolder, darling, and you’ll be rewarded.
Libra Important information is being hidden from you darling, but don’t despair. Think of it as a little sumptuous noir film of your own. Investigate those murky little parts of your life that you usually push toward the back of your mind. It’s time to dig into scandal and gossip and reveal long-kept secrets. It’ll be messy, darling. I suggest you bring your own wine.
Scorpio There’s a chance the paranormal might seep into your life in the coming weeks. Could it be a guardian angel? An anxiety-induced poltergeist? The ghost of a jealous lover? If you don’t believe in ghosts darling, I suggest broadening your mind. Take it from someone with four dead husbands – a suspension of disbelief will serve you well, in more ways than one.
Sagittarius I know I’m just a fuddy-duddy old lady, so you probably won’t want my advice on social media, but you might listen to the planets: stop worrying what you look like online! Social media is dull, and you aren’t. Stop shoving yourself into its boxes. Go offline for a while and figure out who you are when you’re not thinking about the camera lens. Do things for you, not your audience.
Capricorn Your stars are looking particularly wistful, my dear, but know this – you might be getting that apology you’re owed soon. It is not a time to start new quibbles. You can either accept someone’s words of regret, or not, but know that according to the planets, this is the best chance you’ll have for reconciliation. Now, I personally believe forgiveness is a little overrated when one’s been wronged, but know that the planets disagree.
Aquarius There’s an important skill you’ve been putting off learning, my dear, and the planets and I must be honest with you and say: It’s time! It might be a big leap, like finally enrolling in a college course, or a small one, like finally nailing the perfect cupid’s bow with a dark red lipstick. Life is for the living. We cry tears of mascara in the bathroom, honey, life is just a classroom.
Pisces In the first few months of this year, the planets are pointing toward a smoldering romance of some sort for you. I am never one to pass up a delicious bite from life, so I’d say go for it! But remember to carry your hard-won wisdom with you into this venture. This fun will likely be relatively short-lived, so remember not to place it above any long term goals.
Barnard Street Tattler 